I’m not entirely sure how long I’ve owned Alien Isolation, but I do know how many times I’ve played it, which is a colossal: zero.

I have never played it. Not once. Not even tried playing it.

It’s not that I don’t want to, it’s just that it’s a scary game and I know I’m gunna get frightened and cry.

It happened in LoZ Twilight Princess, it happened in Minecraft, and it happened multiple times in Slender The Arrival; I am NOT crying in fear over another game again.