I know Venom’s all about being the big guns for external threats–bad guys, wounds, falls that would leave Eddie a pancake, etc–but I would love to see how he deals with internal menaces (other than him)
Common cold: -causes Eddie to produce an entire sneeze-
Venom: I will raze every single-shit-celled one of you assholes
Tapeworm fresh out of a cheap gas station sandwich: -exists-
Venom, tying it in 30 knots before melting it: Try me you legless bitch
Pollen: -sparks the first 0.0001% of an allergic reaction-
Venom, completely rewiring Eddie’s biological makeup from the neck up: THIS PLACE IS A GODDAMN MESS I CAN’T WORK LIKE THIS
An incomplete list of my favorite parts of Venom in no real order:
U m that scene in the morning with Anne waking Eddie up by smacking him with a pillow?? Very good
Carlton Drake thinking he can just like start human trials immediately after getting a Symbiote to bond to a fucking rabbit? Boy…
Eddie seemingly talking to himself but ending by facing Dr. Skirth and telling her she’s shitty at following people
Eddie is so sweet and nice to everyone what the fuck
Gives a homeless woman 20 bucks when he’s obviously pretty poor himself at this point because he cares about her
“Why are you here Eddie?” “I missed you.” !!!!!!!!! Like how many times do male leads in movies get to be vulnerable but also respectful?? Never?? Eddie is so kind to Anne and to Dan as well I just
Also Dan is A++ I love him. So secure in his relationship that he meets his girlfriend’s ex and is just like “hey buddy good to meet you!” Personification of a golden retriever
The chase in the woods that ends up with Eddie up a goddamn tree
When Venom shows it’s eyes in the mirror and Eddie shrieks like a little girl and bangs his head on the bathtub? 10/10
Scaring the actual piss out of his neighbor for blaring loud music? Iconic
When Eddie takes the elevator back down and Venom says “Pussy”. Poetic Cinema.
The whole “Mask on” “Copy” scene. These two have been bonded for like five minutes and they’re already best friends.
Carlton Drake Thinks He’s God: The Speech
“You’re a loser, Eddie.”
“I am Venom and you are mine.” And I’m not supposed to take that in a gay way????
The Lobster Tank scene. God poor Eddie he’s so sweaty and needs brains.
Dan once again being A++ looking at this and going “Oh no he’s obviously sick and I need to help him”
The MRI scene and right after when Dan’s like “hey don’t worry about your freak out a lot of people are claustrophobic” (Ps: I love Dan)
I don’t remember most of this movie in order
Best dialogue choice: Venom refers to itself and Eddie as We constantly, and the little bit we hear Riot talk about itself and Drake it says I which is a small choice but a fucking great one when you know that the reason Venom is a loser on his planet is because it wants to bond with and care for its host
When Venom tells Eddie to apologize to Anne because he may never get another chance to? Therapist!Venom is here to sort your shit Eddie
When Venom possesses the little fucking dog after it gets ripped out of Eddie
Also, “What happened to We??” is gay af
“He’s got one up his ass too.”
The scene in the woods where Eddie’s about to get shot and he has to keep stalling because Venom is there taking out bad guys for him 100/10
“Karma’s a bitch”
THE KISS?????????? WE STAN
“I can fight dirty.” “She can.”
“I’m a loser like you Eddie”
“What changed your mind?” “You, Eddie, you did.” WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK HELP ME
That poor guy trying to stop Drake from initiating the launch sequence because he knows something fucky is going on is my goddamn hero
“What are our chances?” “Probably 0.”
BUT THEY FIGHT ANYWAY BECAUSE THEY GOTTA SAVE THE EARTH AND EDDIE BROCK IS A GODDAMN HERO
Anne using the speaker system to blast noise to separate the Symbiotes
“Told you I can fight dirty” WE STAN
In the middle of the fight when Venom and Eddie are being ripped away from each other and EDDIE REACHES OUT FOR VENOM PEAK CINEMA
Mirrored with the moment Eddie is dying and Venom very tenderly slinks it’s way over his hand like Jesus these two are disasters
“Have a nice life” lmao Venom pls
“Goodbye Eddie” bitch we all weeping up in this bitch
Anne and Eddie are now friends again?? Blease
“I think I want to sue” Eddie oh my god
“She doesn’t know we’re going to get her back” VENOM oh my god
These two are perfect for each other honestly
“It was your buddy’s idea.” Hmmmm
Biting the head off the guy threatening Mrs Cheng because “We Are Venom” B I T C H
“I have a parasite.” “Parasite??? Apologize!!!” “No.” “Apologize!!!!!!!” “Alright, I’m sorry.” Lmao married.
“We can only eat bad people.” Alright Eddie if that makes the cannibalism okay with you.
Venom calling Stan Lee’s dog delicious I’m going to scream
BONUS
“There’s going to be carnage” HOE OH MY FUCKING GOD
All this plus: Eddie you’re a bit of a sociopath, right, because you’re really cool with all the murder very quickly???? Love you anyway!!!!
Jab loves robots 