the entire 30 year history of the transformers franchise is entirely pointless because it has yet to top a single line from the 1986 transformers movie where Hot Rod and Kup are in court and Hot Rod’s causin’ a ruckus and the judge says “SILENCE OR YOU WILL BE HELD IN CONTEMPT OF THIS COURT” and Hot Rod says “I have nothing BUT contempt for this court” and honestly the movie could have ended right there. franchise over. you’re not gonna top that.
bullshit, in MTMTE rodimus meets or surpasses that line every time he opens his mouth
(R:) JFC, look at this chipper motherfucker getting hype for paperwork and employee development. It still kind of breaks my heart that Tarn tried to be a good boss and dutiful admin guy and shit just got weird back at the beginning of the war because Robo God cursed him with the ability to talk people to death and that just limited all his possible career choices in the Decepticon army. Trailbreaker complained because he got reduced to being Forcefield Guy; Tarn was probably extra depressed because he was just Talking People To Death Guy. He probably would have been a top logistics officer or something in his perfect world. Imagine him locking himself in his office at Grindcore, blaring classical music and crying sparks as he buries himself in paperwork and hates that fucking green spark that locked him out of his mad desk jockeying ambitions.
(The Cause is All, but sometimes a loyal Decepticon just has to bunker up in a closet and have himself a tiny, self-pitying cry before getting back on the turbohorse.)
In conclusion, look at this enthusiastic team player. Look at this delightful bastard getting so into improving his subordinates as people, not just as overspecialized killing machines. What a guy. What a perfect goddamn dude. Please look at that picture again and appreciate how hard he tried to be good at everything. *disgusting sobbing*
I saw some people post about how it was Tailgate that realized the planet-sized flaw in the plan and that got me thinking because, despite what most people (including myself initially), Tailgate is actually incredibly smart:
In mtmte #5, after Tailgate decides to become an Autobot and starts learning the Autobot’s code, Ultra Magnus informs us of a couple of important details about what said learning would entail:
A ten thousand pages military manual.
which they’ll go through “word by word, line by line" while analyzing each and every one of them “subjecting them to a series of ethical stress tests of philological ambiguity”.
Now I’m no expert on the matter but I did a little googling and the estimated amount of pages a law school student reads in a year is between 7,500 – 8,000.
which means Tailgate should rightfully be terrified considering that Ultra Magnus then followed it up with this:
A FEW WEEKS.
Tailgate is expected to cover more than a year of law school’s worth of reading material in great detail and deep understanding in A FEW WEEKS.
And the crazy thing is?
HE DOES. he passes the test.
Now they are 2 things you might say to dismiss this incredible fit of his:
1. Every Autobot must have studied it, can’t be that hard, right?
OH NO.
Everybody who didn’t need UM personal approval to become an Autobot learned the abridged version. I mean look at the standard Autobot. they did not go to law school to get there. sorry.
2. He says himself it wasn’t a good grade.
that might be it if you don’t take into account a very important fact:
Tailgate is a terrible speller.
not surprising considering he’s a very low-class bot, with probably less advanced linguistic programs. (which I am personally headcanoning as robo-dyslexia).
now I defy you to tell me Ultra fragging Magnus won’t take away points for misspellings. I DARE you.
AND HE STILL PASSED.
so yeah. he might not be Perceptor or Brainstorm or Nautica but Tailgate of Rivets field is one brilliant little minibot.
Here have more reasons to love him
He also did manage to keep up the guise of being a bomb disposal expert for a while while solely relying on his wits and what he could get out of the people around him. That takes a lot of cleverness.
NOT TO MENTION the time he stopped an entire army of Legislators by rewriting section 500 of the Autobot Code.
Can’t spell worth a damn, but he remembered the Code and its proper punctuation. And figured that changing it would stop the Legislators.
Jab loves robots 