maryburgers:

benwarheit:

Things I like about this decal on a restaurant window:
-the insane orange waiter
-that he’s carrying his plates in the air like a strongman
-the couple looks like this isn’t the first time he’s done this, but it’s easier to just let it happen at this point.
-the sign says PASTA as if he’s screaming it like a frankenstein
-but he’s holding a plate of an entire chicken and a plate of wine glasses
-there’s three wine glasses
-one’s for him.

This makes me laugh to the point of tears every time I see it

Holy shit. This is it.
The original.
I feel so blessed on this day

quackatomic:

oh-man-aw-geez:

orbispelagium:

jerkstorecalling:

fiztheancient:

i cant believe there are people who still havent seen this video

I could probably recite this entire video, word-for-word, on demand.

Goddamn, this is nearly thirty years old and it fits like a glove into contemporary shitpost cadence and aesthetics, this is High Art

“that’s right

we’ll fuck your wife”

IT BETTER NOT BOUNCE OR YOU’RE A DEAD MOTHERFUCKER

plaidasaurus:

this one time I ran a red light on mistake and I didn’t notice it was red until it was too late so I just ran the light screeching like an angry pterodactyl the entire time

a cop was at the intersection so he pulled me over and when he came up to my window he was wheezing cause he was laughing so hard and he said

“ok so i know you ran a red light and that’s really bad and you should never do it again but i’m not gonna give you a ticket cause that was the funniest thing i’ve ever seen and my partner can’t get out of the car cause he’s laughing so hard he’s about to pee himself”

i forgot that i’d had my window open when i ran the red light and the cop told me that all he heard from my car was this really high-pitched “screeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEAAAHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhh”

and that’s how i got out of getting a ticket for running a red light

A very well known dangerous male yautja arbiter goes to earth to hunt and accidentally befriends a 4 yo girl. She uses him like a coloring book, practices using nail polish on him, braids his “dreadlocks” but everyone just thinks she’s talking about her imaginary friend. “Mommy I made a friend today! ” “Oh really honey? Thanks nice .” “Yeah! His head touches the top of my room! His skin is pretty colors! His hair is funny but pretty, and his face is really cool!” “He sounds like fun baby”

:

Ps the little girl names him “Mr. crabby” because the way he talks sounds like grunting to her

THIS WAS REALLY CUTE TO IMAGINE AND CHEERED ME UP SO I DID SOME DOODLES ASDFGHJ THANK U FOR THIS

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fuckedialife:

r0xx0rz:

letteredlettered:

ericvilas:

mark-nuuuutt-assbutt:

rinboob-revolution:

noirandcandypumpkins:

a-nerd-called-quinn:

autisticvimes:

odditycollector:

lordsherlokimort:

phoenixflorid:

skeletonwheel:

ginandmisadventures:

adrithegreat:

meliafucker:

petitepictures:

inc4rn4t:

aaaaa42:

somebody once trolled me, successfully rickroll’d me

im not the sharpest n00b in the thread…

I was typing kind of dumb WITH THE CAPS LOCK BUTTON ON.

i bet u thought this post was finally dead

well the memes start coming, and they dont stop coming

grabbing all the breadsticks, I’ll leave the shop running

didn’t make sense not to live for

gun

your left side’s beef but your pizza none

So much to post so much to see so much John Cena on my live feed

very meme, such impress. how
u learn these knows. so amaze. wow.

HEY NOW

YOU’RE A MEME STAR

Get the rarest. PEPE!

HEY NOW

HERE COME DAT BOI

O shit. Waddup.

And that dress was white and gooold

Everybody craves those mineralllllls.

this is it. this is the best post on this hell site.

I sang the whole thing