I’m also going to be discussing Age of Extinction first though, because I watched it for the second time yesterday, to remind myself of what was going on in the franchise and how much I hate that fucking movie.

SO! I hate AoE. God, just. So much.
I sat down to watch a Transformers movie, not a shitty family drama with two dimensional characters that I can’t remember the names of so I just refer to them by the actors name, or “That idiot who wore black in Texas”
It was nearly three hours of weirdly edited, badly written, musically indifferent garbage, with the Transformers as minor cameos.
It truly was like watching something Thundercracker had written. Boosh! Comics reference!

ANYWAY: The Last Knight.
Holy shit you guys. What a relief! What a breath of fresh air compared to that fart of predecessor! I was so Terrified that this was going to be as bad, if not worse than AoE. Boy was I wrong.
Firstly, the music. Oh! Splendid sweet joy of a Jablonsky! I barely noticed any score in AoE, but here! Here we went back to the heavenly sounds like in the original, with new and gorgeous tracks that are in their own right, wonderful.
I’m not saying I will be looking to see if I can download the score, I am saying it is taking every ounce of willpower not to spend 50 fucking dollars to buy one of the limited edition CDs gfdi not that I can afford it

The scale of the film was broad, but not over-stretched, there was that neat combination of humour, action, hot cars and hotter robots that worked so well in the first film (well, for me it did).
The characters were charming and more likable than in AoE. Cade is alright I guess. I mean, it’s Mark Wahlberg so I wasn’t expecting much, and I was neither surprised nor disappointed by his efforts. Vivian was reminiscent of Mikaela, which I liked. Anthony Hopkins is always a blessing to watch, and he was just brilliant in this. Isabella was sweet, and I love how much she loved her robots…

SPEAKING OF ROBOTS
I’m in love with Hot Rod and Quintessa simultaneously.
There. I said it. Can’t do a thing about it.
Hot Rot has the most precious face that I just want to smooch and hold. What a terrible French accent! What a gorgeous alt-mode! I love everything about him!
And Quintessa. She could punch me in the face, and I would thank her. But she wouldn’t stoop as low as to do that. No, she’d get someone else to do it for her. And I’d still be okay with that.
She’s like a beautiful tentacled Airachnid, only with more Gemma Chan.
And if you thought Gemma Chans voice was enchanting before, wait til you hear how she sounds with hypnotic, metalic undertones…

…. Sorry, what was I saying?
Oh, yeah. The Last Knight. Uuuuh… Watch it. It’s not as bad as Age of Extinction or Revenge of the Fallen!
It has: Odin flipping off the cops! Optimus kicking every ass he comes across! An inexplicable Stanley Tucci! Megatron fondling Starscreams head! And Gemma Chan as everything a woman could want!