theauspolchronicles:

dyracan:

theauspolchronicles:

Malcolm Turnbull has said that his party is “still behind him” after 30th consecutive Newspoll loss.

“Yes, they’re behind me always. Quite literally. No matter where they go they lurk behind me. I believe this is meant to be a supportive gesture even if Dutton keeps hissing “soon” under his breath at me,” Turnbull answered the press when questioned about his continued lack of popularity.

When asked if he was worried he’ll be knifed in the back he said “no, I don’t think so. I’ve made myself very difficult to knife in the back over the past few years by being completely spineless. Good luck finding a spot to bury it!”

“Soon,” Dutton hissed.

I’m disappointed that this wasn’t just written by the onion. It sounds like it could’ve been.

Thank you!

atomic-darth:

systlin:

sbsrandomshitblog:

patrickat:

thyrell:

ayellowbirds:

scruffsmcgoogle:

prettyboyshyflizzy:

yall southern states got dinosaurs running around and yall make jokes about new york having rats

But they are places to be expected.

NY rats take the subway and be trying to sell their mixtapes and shit.

  1. That’s an Australian accent.
  2. That’s a croc, not a gator—specifically, it’s a big ol’ saltie.
  3. The rats don’t sell mixtapes, you’re thinking of pigeons. The rats play acoustic guitar.

4: those things are way older than dinosaurs

5: Australia still has dinosaurs.

6: The dinosaurs won a war with Australia.

7; that victory wasn’t even close

What a big boy I wish I could hug him