drpathetique:

drpathetique:

theghostboy:

dwarvesandrobots:

theghostboy:

things i say that confuse and worry my coworkers:

  • “happy birthday” every time i hand them something
  • “well, that’s not ideal” whenever something is going wrong
  • “we are in the timeline that god abandoned” whenever i’m mildly inconvenienced
  • “can’t you see that your fighting is tearing this family apart?” whenever two or more coworkers are arguing
  • referring to taking medication as “eating medicine”
  • “time to go back to prison!” when putting animals back in their cages

  • referring to inanimate objects as (s)he, particularly when i break something and say “oh no, he’s dead.” this concerns them especially when i follow it up with “that’s not ideal”

  • “what are they gonna do, fire me?”

I work in a blood bank, and constantly refer to blood types as flavors, such as “Oh, you need two units? What flavor is he?” And my older coworkers just look at me confused but my coworker that’s my age doesn’t miss a beat and responds “A Pos”

this is probably my favorite comment on this post so far

“So, how much are we taking?”

“Maybe this much?” *draws a line across his thigh* “Just to be sure.”

– orthos discussing an ancle fracture

Oh, man I completely forgot my explanation for the triage system:

  • Red: Actively dying
  • Orange: Might die
  • Yellow: Might eventually die
  • Green: Won’t die

Which genuinely seems to disconcert people, and I’m not sure why.

getgrilled-oce:

emphasis-all-mine:

jenroses:

cherryaid-fountain:

jemthecrystalgem:

neptunes-salty-butthole:

cheshiretiffy:

pats-a-lats:

Things just transpired in my house hold that are equal parts offensive and hilarious… Here goes.

So my roommate, Dale, has a gf who does not live with us, but she’s here all the time. So Sunday when my gf was her we were on the couch and we kissed (scandalous, I know) and she saw it, and I’m pretty sure that’s the first time she’s seen us be affectionate, that’s neither here nor there.

So today she tells Dale she’s “uncomfortable” here and wants him to move out because she thinks me and my lady are going to hit on her or something, she doesn’t like living with lesbians, cause it’s not “normal”, so now I’m pissed. Then, Dale goes, “well you don’t live here, so it shouldn’t be a problem, just stop coming over”…things escalated and Dale is trying to break up with her, but she won’t leave our house….she locked herself in Dales room.

So, Dale barges in my room wearing a bathrobe and goes, “call every lesbian you know, we’re smoking this bitch out!” Then turns around and whips his robe like a cape…

And that’s the story of how there are 8 lesbians climbing through the window of Dales room…

Holy shit.

This is glorious

I like Dale. He’d break up with a bigoted girlfriend and he wears bathrobes like a cape. Not everyone would wear a bathrobe like a cape.

Some heros wear capes

I… have only seen this in screenshots.

I never knew Let’s Go Lesbians was based on a true story.

ITS BACK

joulejay:

monsterhiqh:

zombiepigmans:

irish-chikorita:

Ok, so I’ve been playing Minecraft again recently (cause I bought the game for a reason :/) and I was on Minecraft’s Wiki and I’m fucking LIVID because I didn’t fucking realize that they took Steve’s goddamn goatee away

PUT IT BACK. PUT IT BACK YOU BASTARDS.

he shaved its okay! hes just nice n smooth now

anyone else didn’t realize that was a goatee and just thought he was smiling real big?

you WHAT