[Opening Marine Wildlife Wonder Oven and inhaling deeply] Aaaaaaaah, our famous Star-Spangled Toasty Tunicate Didemnum Dumplings are ready for eyes to feast upon them!
Didemnum tunicates are an apartment complex of many filter-feeding individuals, all housed in a shared orange tunic. Each small hole is a mouth to one of the tenants, while the larger opening is the communal waste disposal.
These co-ops defend themselves from would-be Didem-noms with sharp spikes, while other tunicates use chemical defenses like sulfuric acid to fend off nosy neighbors.
Brilliant tunicates like Didemnum are plastered all over the rocky reef here in Monterey Bay, from solitary morphs like the ruby sea peach getting tubed under barnacle feet above, or or the bright pink modern art of a Cystodytes lobatus colony below.
These colorful critters filter the water for microscopic food—one large solitary tunicate may filter several liters of seawater in an hour! Whatever the case, these lil’ dumplings are certainly a part of a balanced kelp forest ecosystem.
[Video of venerable TV naturalist David Attenborough standing amid vegetation. On a near-horizontal branch above his head is a brown and yellow greater bird of paradise, about the size of a crow, with big floaty yellow plumage puffing out along its back.]
Bird: Pwuk. Pwuk. Venerable TV naturalist David Attenborough: This, surely – Bird (hopping along the branch): WUKWUKWUkwukwukwukoooh. Oooh. Oooh.
[Cut. Same shot.]
Venerable TV naturalist David Attenborough: This, surely, is one – Bird: Kark kark kark kark kark kark kark kark kark kark kark kark kark kark kark kark kark kark kark kark kark kark kark kark kark kark. Venerable TV naturalist David Attenborough: This, surely –
[Cut. Same shot but the bird is on the other side now and venerable TV naturalist David Attenborough has his hand on the branch.]
Bird (hopping up and down on venerable TV naturalist David Attenborough’s fingers): Eh-eh. Eh-eh. Eh-urrrr. Eh-urrrr. Venerable TV naturalist David Attenborough: Close up – Bird (hopping away from him): Tiktiktiktik. Tiktiktiktik. Venerable TV naturalist David Attenborough: – the plumes – Bird (hopping around): Huek. Venerable TV naturalist David Attenborough: – are truly – Bird: Huek. Venerable TV naturalist David Attenborough: – exquisite. Bird: Huek. Eh-eh. Venerable TV naturalist David Attenborough: The gauzy – Bird (hopping and spinning on the spot): HukWUKWUKWukwukoooh. Oooh. Venerable TV naturalist David Attenborough: …
[Cut. Same shot but the bird is back on the original side of the branch.]
Bird: Aark. Venerable TV naturalist David Attenborough: Of course, by the eighteenth century – Bird: Ehhh. Venerable TV naturalist David Attenborough: – naturalists realized that birds of paradise – Bird (hops across to the other side of the branch) Venerable TV naturalist David Attenborough: – did have – Bird (hopping back again): Krrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. Venerable TV naturalist David Attenborough: – legs. Even so – Bird: WUKWUKWUKWukwukwukooh.
[Cut. Same shot.] Venerable TV naturalist David Attenborough (apparently trying to tickle the bird’s tummy): – by about the eighteenth century – Bird (hops away and spins round) Venerable TV naturalist David Attenborough: – and so – Bird: AAAAAK AAAK AAAK AAAK AAAK AAAK AAAK AAAK AAAK AAAK AAAK aaak. Venerable TV naturalist David Attenborough (wearily): … Very well.
[Cut. Same shot.]
Venerable TV naturalist David Attenborough: – but Karl Linnaeus, the great – Bird (vibrating rapidly on the spot and then flapping its wings): PWAAAAAAAK. Venerable TV naturalist David Attenborough: – classifier of the natural world – Bird: AAAAAUUUH AAAUUUH AAAUUUH AAAUUUH AAAUUUH AAAUUUH AAAUUUH AAUUH. Venerable TV naturalist David Attenborough: – when he came to allocate a scientific name – Bird: … Venerable TV naturalist David Attenborough: – to this bird – Bird: … Venerable TV naturalist David Attenborough: – called it – Bird: Wooo-ooo. Venerable TV naturalist David Attenborough: – wooo-ooo – Bird (surveys the surroundings with a dignified turn of the head) Venerable TV naturalist David Attenborough: ‘paradisia apoda’: the bird of paradise – Bird: Hoooo. Venerable TV naturalist David Attenborough: – without legs. Bird: Eh-eh.
Some characters I’ve had beating in my head lately: Marianne the fly girl and her boyfriend, who I’m calling Marco.
Marco works a prestigious business job and subsidizes Marianne’s life of eating Mcdonalds, buying microtransactions on games, and never leaving her home. No one’s sure exactly what he sees in her, but he insists she’s exactly his type.
I was like “oh yeah that’s a fairly cute humanized fly” and then scrolled down to the fact that she mooches off an anthropomorphic fly trap boyfriend and couldn’t not reblog
You are still going to be here after the change. If your characters and relationships you’ve made on this shit storm of a site, is too important to abandon.
Jab loves robots 