I saw some people post about how it was Tailgate that realized the planet-sized flaw in the plan and that got me thinking because, despite what most people (including myself initially), Tailgate is actually incredibly smart:
In mtmte #5, after Tailgate decides to become an Autobot and starts learning the Autobot’s code, Ultra Magnus informs us of a couple of important details about what said learning would entail:
A ten thousand pages military manual.
which they’ll go through “word by word, line by line" while analyzing each and every one of them “subjecting them to a series of ethical stress tests of philological ambiguity”.
Now I’m no expert on the matter but I did a little googling and the estimated amount of pages a law school student reads in a year is between 7,500 – 8,000.
which means Tailgate should rightfully be terrified considering that Ultra Magnus then followed it up with this:
A FEW WEEKS.
Tailgate is expected to cover more than a year of law school’s worth of reading material in great detail and deep understanding in A FEW WEEKS.
And the crazy thing is?
HE DOES. he passes the test.
Now they are 2 things you might say to dismiss this incredible fit of his:
1. Every Autobot must have studied it, can’t be that hard, right?
OH NO.
Everybody who didn’t need UM personal approval to become an Autobot learned the abridged version. I mean look at the standard Autobot. they did not go to law school to get there. sorry.
2. He says himself it wasn’t a good grade.
that might be it if you don’t take into account a very important fact:
Tailgate is a terrible speller.
not surprising considering he’s a very low-class bot, with probably less advanced linguistic programs. (which I am personally headcanoning as robo-dyslexia).
now I defy you to tell me Ultra fragging Magnus won’t take away points for misspellings. I DARE you.
AND HE STILL PASSED.
so yeah. he might not be Perceptor or Brainstorm or Nautica but Tailgate of Rivets field is one brilliant little minibot.
Here have more reasons to love him
He also did manage to keep up the guise of being a bomb disposal expert for a while while solely relying on his wits and what he could get out of the people around him. That takes a lot of cleverness.
NOT TO MENTION the time he stopped an entire army of Legislators by rewriting section 500 of the Autobot Code.
Can’t spell worth a damn, but he remembered the Code and its proper punctuation. And figured that changing it would stop the Legislators.
on the topic of robot noises: since rewind turns into a data stick he has no need for a particularly powerful engine or anything, so he’s just generally a lot quieter than most mechs on the lost light. instead of purring in that engine-rumbling way, he makes soft whirring/fan sounds, like the way computers do when youre uploading too many files all at once. when he’s recharging next to chromedome he can hear very faint beeps and video processing noises (similar to how old tape decks sound!)
Yet another installment in humans being fuckin weird compared to aliens: humans give blood, organs, and tissue to each other, because our race is built around being able to function under as much stress as possible.
So of course, what do we do when another human will die without something we could live without?
We go to our local hospital and undergo trauma to provide them with it, for no compensation.
Sure you might need to eat and drink more, take antibiotics or anti rejection drugs, but hey!
B’ril over there had to wait until HIS race figured out stem cells and lab grown organs, because ALL their organs are vital, and losing a pint of fluid flat out kills them or sends them into shock.
“You… you lost… your toxin filters?”
“Well, we’ve got a few things that do that, but yeah, like… four of them?”
“….Four?”
“Well, counting tonsils.”
“You are… How are you alive, again?”
“You make it sound so weird. I still have two kidneys- One’s synthetic, the other was donated.”
“…….donated?”
“Yeah, my girlfriend was compatible.”
“Donated.”
“….Yeah? Like, we had the same blood type and everything, and she volunteered. What, you guys don’t do that? What do you do when someone needs a liver, or something?”
“We… clone one.”
“Okay, sure, but what did you do before cloning? You didn’t just like, give someone a piece?”
“….. we died? Wait, what do you mean, ‘give someone a piece’?”
“Well, our livers can grow back. You can give someone a piece of yours, and they can grow their own. You guys don’t do that?”
robot character: *uses their body to shield their human companion from danger because they’re a machine and so don’t consider their life or safety to have as much value as that of the person they love*
me:
human character: *uses their vulnerable human body to shield
their robot companion because even though they’re a machine that can’t
be hurt or killed as easily they value their life equally to their own
because they love them*
2018 Grinch has no edge. He’s got no bite. He’s not even that much of an asshole. He’s just a sassy gay furry with unusually nice teeth despite his famous theme song declaring otherwise.
1966 Grinch? Now that was a mean, scary bastard. He was a crusty old fuck who hated society so much that he only came off his shitty frozen mountain to commit crimes and terrorism out of spite.
Bennyhoo Cumberland Grinch comes down from his mountain to buy groceries.
You can round the edges off a character to make them more “relatable” or whatever, but you also run the risk of losing what defined them in the first place. The end result is bland and generic.
2018 Grinch is a reflection of modern society’s rejection of real character flaws in the interest of being “unproblematic” and in this essay i will
What was your opinion on the Jim Carrey grinch?
Jim Carrey Grinch said bitch, ate glass and threw a whole child in the garbage. He is an absolute champ and the only rightful heir to the throne.
Jab loves robots 