superkamigodespurrdragonofmars:

Nothing tops @dril’s “face god and walk backwards into hell” in terms of iconic phrases with absurd sources, but @clickholeofficial recently gave us “don’t squander this opportunity! God may have closed a door, but what that stupid motherfucker hasn’t realized is that he left a window open for you to wriggle right through!” And damn if that isn’t the most motivational thing I’ve read all week.

karla-chans-bjds:

glyndarling:

glyndarling:

mirrorada:

uesp:

My Hobby: Playing the Nirnroot sound effect on my phone to immediately determine if anyone nearby is an Elder Scrolls fan by watching them descend into a blood rage to stop it.

I want this as every sound effect on my phone.

Update:  While it is not every sound on my phone, I did replace my text notification with a nirnroot chime.  It is perfect.  You see, I have already been conditioned to A. notice that sound under any circumstance and B. find the source of the sound. 

That my alarms have been replaced by the Cliff Racer Song from Oblivion and the Morrowind opening theme is another thing all together.

I tried it, and within an hour my Dad got really mad at me and made me take the sound away…

Weta story time

While I was out walking today I found a young male Weta on someone’s letterbox, and since it probably wasn’t safe there (from likr, birds and shit) I scooped him up and carried him down the road a bit (he starts crawling up my arm and generally being a dick about it) til I found a shrub to plop him under.

I kinda flick the Weta under this bush, cause he’s being stubborn and not letting go of my hand at first, and I walk away.

I get around the corner, everything’s fine. And then. I see. Crawling up my boobs.

MOTHERFUCKER

I do the standard panic flail that you do when you’ve got a goddamn Weta centimeters from your face and he ends up falling onto the footpath.
Now I’m just confused. Is this a second Weta? Where did it come from? Is it the same Weta?? How? Why???

I scoop up what is either the second Weta of the day, or my friend who somehow managed to run up my entire body in less than 10 seconds, I plop it down under another shrub and start to walk away

THE FUCKER STARTS RUNNING AFTER ME