I feel like the reason certain dog-lovers insist cats are evil is because they read their body language as if they were dogs. So here’s a very basic guide to common “mean” things cats do that actually aren’t mean at all if you know what they’re thinking.
Rolling and exposing belly- attacks you when touched Does not mean: Give belly rubs! – haha I tricked you! Actually means: I’m playful! If you reach for my belly I’ll grab your arm and bite it because I think we’re playfighting!
Lazily exposing belly – still attacks when touched Does not mean: tricked you again! Actually means: I’m showing you my belly because I trust you. Please don’t break that trust by invading my personal space. I might accept a belly rub if I’m not ticklish and I know you well.
Snapping at you while being pet Does not mean: I suddenly decided I dislike you! Actually means: You’re petting me in a way that gives me too much restless energy. Please focus on petting my head and shoulders instead of stroking the full length of my back next time.
Is in the same room but makes no attempt to interact Does not mean: I’m ignoring you Actually means: We’re hanging out! I’m being respectful by giving you space while still enjoying your company.
Slapping/scratching your hand when you try to pet them Does not mean: I hate you! Actually means: You’ve failed to establish that we’re not playing, or the way you’re approaching me scares me. Be calmer, speak more gently, make eye-contact and blink slowly at me before you try again.
I love this post omg, thank you so much. As a lifelong cat person, dogs perplex me because they’re so completely different behaviourally.
I love dogs too but, I’ve been trying to tell people, you canNOT treat cats like you treat dogs. They arent the same animals and have very different personalities
P.s.: people often pet cats way too hard. Dogs like a firm pet or a pat on the belly, cats dont have the same bone structure and are more flexible than dogs so what you’re doing probably hurts them
Sitting and staring Does not mean: I am challenging you/plotting your demise/just generally evil and creepy. Actually means: I am a desert-adapted species, so my natural tears are very thick and keep my eyes moist for a nice long time. I do find people interesting and enjoy watching them. I just don’t need to blink very often!
Staring and blinking slowly Does not mean: I’m smug and think I am smarter than you. Actually means: I like you! But I don’t need to get up in your face to show it. I can just sit over here and blow kisses at you to show you I am glad you are around!
It’s very frustrating for me when people expect cats to act like dogs, or act like they’re deceitful. They aren’t! They just AREN’T DOGS.
Pour les chats 🐈💞
Get ready for “more reasons why I fucking love cats”
Yes, the legends are true. Cats headbutt you to show their trust and affection. They also do it to show “hey look I see you as family.” Lions do it with members of their pride to say the same. It’s not just because they want food.
Cats nibbling is indeed literally cats grooming you. It’s what mom cats do to their kittens. If a cat is gently biting and/or licking you, they’re now your mom.
Meowing can simply be for the mere fact they want to say hello, want to play or be pet. Again, not just for food.
They barely meow at other cats (except for kittens, they meow at mom cat), mostly just humans. There are exceptions but overall, meowing is almost always for us.
Cats squinting/slow blinking is indeed basically the equivalent of us smiling and/or kissing.
Cats, like humans, prefer to get things without having to work for it- which isn’t very common within other animals.
Cat massages or making biscuits is because they happy! Kneading is another way of saying “hey I like this moment here I enjoy you and my life.”
Cats recognize us by smell, sound, taste, and touch. They recognize us after years as their long term memory is extremely good. This is why abused or neglected cats are so easily scared or hard to connect with. If your scent changes over the years or just in the day, your voice will them it’s really you. Also, they will only remember you if you had impact on their life. If you just existed in the same house, they obviously won’t care.
And yes, they know our patterns in the day. You notice it when it’s beneficial to them (feeding time!). They will often wait for you to come home as well.
To remember: cats think we are interesting as hell. They watch us do everything because we’re fascinating!!!
They also want you to be around when eating because they feel vulnerable. They focus on eating so they hope you protect them. They do the same for you, all the time.
CATS 😍😍😍😍
when a cat turns their back on you, they’re not snubbing you. they’re trusting you to watch their back.
notice how when you’re unfamiliar but nonthreatening, they might loaf facing you and sorta halfway watch you. you’re not fully trusted, but you’re ok by them.
when you’re familiar and liked, they’ll often sit near you facing the same way. imitation of poses is a weird little way cats show solidarity. they do it to each other too. check out these bff’s:
they are doing this on purpose. it’s a buddy thing. so if you’re watching tv and a cat sits next to you and pretends to watch tv too, they are basically calling you bro and declaring friendship.
and if they really love and trust you, they’ll turn their back on you and go to sleep. they’ll sleep facing a wall in your presence, or lounge where they can’t see the room. this isn’t a snub, folks, this is true kitty love. they’re saying, “i feel safe when you’re around. i know nothing’s going to sneak up on me, because you’re here. i feel so safe i can stick my head under a pillow and snore with my butt pointed at you.”
farts aren’t an expression of love, though, as far as i know. they’re just farts.
(First, I’m sorry this took so long to answer, anon! Life has been a bit overwhelming the last couple of months.)
I’m happy to delve into this a bit. Aging and such is something I think people need to talk about. Otherwise it can be scary sometimes. So for anyone curious, I will be turning 40 on my next birthday.
A little background. I’ve been part of fandom since I was 24 years old. Back then, fandom was a little different and instead of tolerating older fans, we embraced them. I remember going to a Harry Potter conference in 2007. I went to a fanfiction panel that had five women on it, all in their 40s and 50s. They were so happy and confident in their place in fandom and their friendships. It was absolutely beautiful to see.
I remember thinking I hope that’s me some day. Now, of course, things are different. I regularly see posts making fun of people over a certain age for still being in fandom.
We’re all going to get old some day. There’s no stopping that. But getting older doesn’t mean you suddenly lose interest in the things you love. You might have less time to geek out about them, but you’re not gonna lose interest.
I think the key is finding yourself little corner of fandom. Find some people around the same age as you. (For me, I consider ‘same age’ anyone over thirty. There is no upper limit.)
Then basically, once you have this corner, it’s time to say ‘fuck it.’ That might sound harsh, but I refuse to let anyone take away something that makes me happy. Gaming and reading and writing fanfic brings me a ridiculous amount of joy. It’s helped me make friends from all over the world.
Do not let anyone take away your joy. You have just as much of a right to be in fandom as anyone else. And anon, you’re always welcome in my little corner of fandom!
Listen, nonnie. I have been in fandom since I
was 14? 15? and I turn 36 tomorrow. This is a thing that has been part
of me for more than half my life. I don’t know how old you are, but when
I was first starting out in fandom, it was considered a grown-up
pursuit. Sure there were places for under 18s, but the people who ran
the mailing lists, wrote the newsgroup FAQs, and paid for archive
hosting fees? All adults. It was… I don’t want to say unusual for
younger people to be in fandom, but it was made clear that you behaved
respectfully in community/adult spaces. Or you pretended (very badly) to
be an adult and the actual adults overlooked it.
It was super helpful to
me as a young-un to have older female fans to look up to, and know that
I could be an adult (whatever the fuck that means) and still have room
for hobbies and interests I loved. It was also helpful, just as a
person, to have a network of older women who were invested in my
well-being but not necessarily involved in my day to day life to turn
to. I am grateful for my fandom aunties, and I hope I can be there for
younger fans the same way.
I feel like a lot of the “Ew adults in fandom”
bullshit comes from younger fans who can barely conceive of reaching 30
as a non-abstract thing, and suffer from deep misapprehensions of what
adult life is like. Yes you have to deal with stupid things like
insurance and taxes, but you also have so much more freedom to enjoy the
things you love. I am also irritated by so many heteronormative
presumptions these people seem to have: you get married, have kids, and
become so incredibly boring nobody wants you in fandom anyways. Not
everybody gets married or has kids, and neither of those things makes
you boring, you make yourself boring. So find yourself some friends to
grow old with, and stick to them like limpets. If you can’t, find new
friends. I have found that in new fandoms, I tend to gravitate towards
people my age and older, even if I don’t know it at the time. If you’re
enthusiastic and kind, that’s honestly all most people require to start
talking. There is room for you in fandom always, no matter what age you
are.
and I just wanted to second all of it.
All of this. I myself did not discover fandom until I was just about to turn 30 – I didn’t even know what fandom even was before then, and I had no idea that fandom was supposedly not for people my age. It is a hobby like any other, and you’re not too old to have hobbies.
There’s a weird kind of ageist misogyny happening in fandom at the moment, where “women in their 30s and older” are seen by some as the enemy or simply as people who shouldn’t be here in fandom, but honestly – in my own experience, some of the best people I’ve met in fandom are older people; and older than me, a lot of the time: people who can bring their own wisdom and life experience to fandom and navigating the social aspect of fandom as well as fanfic/fanart in a way that many younger people (with a few exceptions, of course) do not yet have the wisdom and life experience to do.
I hope Anon sees this whole “you are too old to have the right to be in or enjoy fandom” stuff for what it is – ageism and misogyny. Because let’s face it, we never tell men of a certain age that they’re too old to enjoy whatever hobby they get really into – why should we do this for women? Why should we do this to ourselves?
There is this expectation in our society that women stop caring about their own needs once they started a family. People ask you how you’re doing and you’re expected to tell them how great your kids are doing in school. Your accomplishments are not your own, your partner and your kids are now your accomplishments.
It’s dangerous bullshit because it literally strips you of your personhood. You’re not a person anymore, you’re a care automaton, designed to care about the happiness of others.
Don’t fall for this. You don’t stop being your own person with your own interests just because you decided to move in with someone or even popped out a kid. You’re still you. Your interests may change but you don’t have to drop all the things you love and join the “clean house” or “best kid in class” fandom.
Women have lives outside of the care for family business. We still love fandom and we’re not going away.
Bonus: fandom olds can mentor the kids. I remember lying my way into message boards and even if no one offered to beta, I learned How To Community by example.
And it doesn’t stop with kids: @thebyrchentwigges dragged me out of my lurk, and a huge part of how I interact with y’all is due to her encouragement.
Y’all, please listen to this song. This is Mongolian folk rock by a new band called the HU, it’s the only song they’ve got out so far but it is a strong start, holy shit.
According to one of the comments on the video, it’s sung from the perspective of the spirits of the ancestors, who are lamenting that politicians aren’t keeping their word, Mongolians are discriminating against each other over their provincial origin or bloodline, and the traditional wisdom of the elders is being lost. The English translation in the captions isn’t great, but you really don’t need it to enjoy the song. This is going to be stuck in my head all weekend.
IT’S ON SPOTIFY!!!!!! THEY’LL HAVE DATA TO KNOW HOW MANY TIMES IN A ROW WE LISTEN TO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The feel of it is ‘finnish black metal, but also cowboy’. It’s very good. Mongolians got some dope music.
Jab loves robots 