It’s 2am and I’m thinking about that episode of Transformers where Megatron goes “Raise the force fields Soundwave!” And Soundwave’s just “What force fields?!”
And that is honestly peak comedy
If Cthulhu can be summoned by humans who are so far beneath it, why can’t humans be summoned by ants? The answer is they should be.
Well if a bunch of ants formed a circle in my house I’d certainly notice, try to figure out where they’d all come from, and possibly wreak destruction there.
That’s why knowing and correctly pronouncing the true name is so important to the ritual. Imagine how impossible it would be to not go take a look if the circle of ants started chanting your name.
And they’re like, you can’t leave because we drew a line made of tiny crystals – now you have to do us a favor.
And you’re like, let’s just see where this goes “yup, you got me… what’s the favor?”
and usually the favor is like, “kill this one ant for us” or “give me a pile of sugar” and you’re like… okay? and you do, because why not, it isn’t hard for you and boy is this going to be a fucking story to tell, these fucking ants chanting your name and wanting a spoonful of sugar or whatever.
And SOMEtimes you get asked for things you can’t really do, one of them, she’s like, “I love this ant but she won’t pay any attention to me, make me important to her” and you’re like… um? how? So you just kill every ant in the colony except the two of them, ta-da! problem solved! and the first ant is like *horrified whisper* “what have I done”
This is the best explanation for higher powers I’ve ever really heard.
Recently, Tumblr was removed from the Apple app store due to an incident involving child pornography. This incident is incredibly unfortunate, but it doesn’t stand alone. Tumblr was also removed from the app store due to the large influx of porn bots and pornographic spam, users claiming to be proud to be pedophiles, blatant Nazism, racists who are not deleted for sending hate and harassing users, and more. I myself reported someone for harassing me, but because I had blocked the person and couldn’t access the messages where they harassed me, they were still able to send me anonymous asks. Your support staff, with back doors to the website (presumably), claimed they could not access the messages, and I was left SOL. Many features on this website do nothing to actually protect your users from harassment, racism, homophobia, transphobia, Nazis, pedophiles, predators, porn bots, and more.
You claim in your statement to us that you “have been working on these problems for a long time”. This is blatantly untrue. Please do not lie to us and patronize us. We’ve been here. We’ve seen you do nothing over, and over, and over again.
We complained to you for months and months about the rampant porn bots, and you did nothing except add a report button on mobile which only reported sensitive content or spam at best. You could have addressed this problem with an effective algorithm, but you did not. We complained to you about being harassed and sent hate speech for being LGBT+, and you did nothing. We complained to you about blogs being randomly deleted, and sometimes you’ve restored them, other times you have not. We complained to you that there were people proudly claiming to be “Minor Attracted Persons”, or pedophiles, and you did nothing. We complained to you about people proudly claiming to be white supremacists, and you did nothing. All of these things are “against the community guidelines”, and yet over and over, you have not found effective ways to handle these problems or suppress the feeling of welcome that these users claim to get here. You have had a long time to work on these problems, but you haven’t addressed them. To say you have is untrue.
Multiple other social networking websites, such as WordPress, Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest, and others have effectively dealt with rampant pornography, racism, pedophilia, and other problems without causing massive issues for their users who are not misusing the platform. They are continuing to find new, effective ways to deal with these issues without causing problems for their userbase as a whole. There is no reason that you are unable to do this effectively other than that you wanted to do it quickly. You have once again chosen your stock holders over your users. And we have had enough.
You have already started to ban “Adult” content with a new algorithm. Here are screenshots of just a fraction of the posts you have flagged as containing adult content:
Your new system of simply tackling everything at once is not working. At all. And each of these screenshots is proof of your utter incompetence. None of these posts contain pornographic acts, “female nipples”, or any community violation of any kind.
We, the users, have been asking you for months to deal with these problems – particularly, the porn bots and bots that spam. In order to block a bot from a side blog, I have to do it manually, even though they are in my side blog’s feed. This is a huge issue for mobile – only users. They keep cropping up in droves, taking over our posts and tricking google into making it look like a legitimate blog linked to a pornographic website. We have complained to you for months and months now, and your solution to simply “ban all adult content” is ineffective. I agree that children should not be able to access pornography – but this is not how you tackle a porn bot problem. Your system is utterly useless, allows for racists, pedophiles, porn bots, and Nazis to remain untouched. It also harms sex workers and real people who may use this website for some forms of adult content responsibly. Moreover, as seen above, it harms plenty of users who have in no way violated your terms of service.
If you keep this up, you threaten your website and company as a whole. Many of us are backing up our blogs and planning places to go to.
You already have a content filter for “sensitive” content (content inappropriate for younger viewers). You could have improved this, instead of attacking your entire user base. It seems to be a very lazy “solution”, if you could call it one at all, and one that harms your entire userbase.
If you are going to keep this filter in place and make Tumblr, a website that has never been known for being family friendly and has never claimed to be, you are going to lose millions of your users. We are already planning our exodus. It isn’t hard to follow. Censor us, and we will go somewhere else. That is not a threat. It is a promise.
Had to go to the city today and I was walking down the street, minding my own business and these two women who were eating hot chips and sitting at one of the bus stops and one approaches and says ‘scuse me or something and I just think she’s looking for directions or something, (cause, bus stop).
No.
She says “We’re just asking people about their beliefs today”
Me: As in…?
Her: Well, Christianity, Anglicism (?????), you know. So you are..?
Me: Athiest
Her: Okay, have you ever thought about what will happen after you die?
Me: I’m gunna be cremated
Her:
I don’t think I answered her question correctly
Her: Well if you’ve read the bible-
(This is the part where the brain-mouth filter just fucks off for me completely)
Me: I have, and I find it very sexist towards women, especially that story with whatshisname, where he’s got like, two angels, and everyone wants them, so he goes and gives the people his concubine, and they rape her to death, and then she gets torn apart? Yeah, no. I don’t like it.
I want to add, during my rambling, this woman and her friends’ expressions slowly went from smiley and warm, to looking at me like I was a big ol’ spider. Anyway;
She goes “O-oh… I don’t?… What part is that from…?” And I just. I fuckin did finger guns and winked at her and said “Old Testament!” And walked away, and looking back on it, it was truly one of the more cringy moments in my life. I hope they were embarrassed for me, cause I sure as shit wasn’t.
After that (like, an hour later) I got approached by one of these people selling books on meditation (there were at least six around the place) and she complimented my wolf t-shirt and asked if I liked wolves and I panicked and said, “yeah, but I like Octopods more!” and after she sorta recovered from what I can only hope was the most out-of-left-field response anyone’s ever had to the question “do you like wolves?” She said she thought Octopus were a bit ‘freaky looking’ so inside I was thinking I must defend the Cephalopods honour!! so I start rambling (for the second time in one day), about how smart Octopus were, but that we couldn’t properly measure it because of how different their brains were due to the evolutionary branch-off from us being SO far back, and how I loved how squishy they were, and how their narrow pupils always make them look like they’re suspicious of everything, and then I interrupted myself by saying I had a bus to catch, and left.
Jab loves robots 