god. I just realized that after a few short years of being away from megatron, starscream’s right back to being told to shut up when he talks and getting punched in the face when he doesn’t. Only this time it’s the autobots doing it, so it’s fine, because starscream’s a jerk and deserves it. :’)
Sorry, I know I keep jumping into this today, but… I want to talk about this. Super long post warning, btw.
So, welcome to my TED Talk: The Transformers Writers (Outside of James Roberts and Mairghread Scott a Little Bit) Have a Lot to Answer for About Their Representation of Trauma and Abuse Survivors
First, the TL;DR version: It really fries my platino when I see people write characters who’ve obviously been twisted by abuse and trauma but are still trying to change, and then act like they don’t deserve to have ANYONE’S sympathy or support.
For a full-scale rant with illustrations, continue below. (Also be aware that there are a few minor Unicron spoilers in here.)
If your fic is 1000 words long, you can’t tag it slow burn. It’s not slow burn. That is a matchstick. And this is my personal bias here but if those motherfuckers you’re writing experience significant forward momentum in their relationship in under 5k words, then that is just a regular old burn. Slow burn should be borderline intolerable and a mistake to start reading at 2 in the morning.
If the fic doesn’t have multiple scenes where two people almost kiss but then don’t because of a contrived interruption that they are both grateful for and angry about, until the desperate reader is forced every other paragraph to mutter, “this is fucking ridiculous, this is bullshit, I’m so fucking mad, please update sooooooooooon,” then it isn’t a slow burn. It is a romance and that is a lovely thing but. Slow burns should feel like being set on fire unto your death but the tinder is people not kissing and the spark is people who don’t admit they love each other and the whole thing is. You know. Slow.
CORRECT
I once read a slow burn where the main pairing didn’t even speak to each other ontil 80k words in
This is the funniest fucking thing I’ve ever read and the only true slow burn fic
Somehow I haven’t seen any other posts about this on Tumblr so far, but a company called Anki is making a small “home robot” called Vector.
It’s the successor to Anki’s Cozmo, a similar robot they released a few years ago aimed more at a younger audience, and which needed a smartphone for it’s “brain”. But unlike Cozmo, Vector doesn’t need a smartphone since he’s pretty much got a smartphone built inside of him, and is always on & fully autonomous.
He can recognize faces, tell you the weather, set a timer, and take a picture with his front camera. You can also ask him other questions like you would a voice assistant and he’ll give you an answer.
Also did I mention has touch sensors on top of him so you can pet him?
You won’t have to wait very long to get him either because Vector is releasing in October! Anki recently finished a successful Kickstarter to pre-order him, but you can still pre-order Vector over on their official site, and also read more info about him: https://www.anki.com/en-us/vector
He’s retailing for $249.99 at launch, but you can get him cheaper (little over $200) if you pre-order now. That might still be a bit pricey for some, but it’s cheaper than most quality smartphones these days, and certainly less expensive than other home robots on the market right now.
If you’ve ever dreamed of have a real robot in in your house without breaking the bank, you should support Anki and help give Vector a good home. He may be a small robot, but he might be the next big leap in robotics!
He shot two people in the knee on his way to the medbay.
When you injure yourself while jacking off and getting a bit too experimental, just be confident when telling the doctor! Show no embarrassment! I’m sure it’s gonna go over great!
I don’t post anything here for a month and return with a horrible joke, we’re back to schedule, my friends!
Jab loves robots 