Because the vouchers are for one of those snooty theaters that only show bullshit “artsy” drama films that critics love, and I’m a bogan who will automatically love a movie if it fulfills the following criteria:
1) Rockin musical score
2) Comedy value (not even good comedy either, Jackass style is fine)
3) A woman kicking some kind of ass
4) ‘Splosions.
That’s it. That’s all I need in a film
Anyway, now I have to drop a buttload of cash to go to some other theatre in the city to see Tom Hardy make out with ooey-gooey space putty because this theatre would rather show “Angsty-white-couple-struggle-with-a-simple-relationship-problem-because-they-refuse-to-talk-to-one-another #1753143”
movies where a creature of another species with a love for good food meets a mess of a human down on his luck living in a shitty apartment and the creature can control the guy’s action and he’s unwilling at first but they learn to cooperate and together they can stop the evil rich man trying to take them down
So i went on a date to a haunted house and made friends with the girls behind us. As we’re going through, one of them is holding my hand and a guy leaps out and separates us. I panic as my date is pulling me along, I reach back for her and grab her hand in a group of three other performers and start getting out if there. After a bit I look back to check on her and I discover I’m holding the hand of a six foot tall zombie creature and not a 5’2" girl.
Cue the most terrifying realization of my life.
I had basically kidnapped this performer from his section and abandoned the girl and her friend behind us.
Yes, I screamed. My date thought it was Hilarious.
Yes, we found the girls. Turns out when I grabbed the performers hand, he grabbed theirs so our group wouldn’t be separated. So there was just this zombie in the middle of our group line for like fifty feet
Jab loves robots 